It’s sad how most people save their own asses, instead of going down with the rest.
Haha, but it makes sense I suppose.
There’re so many things I want to say but I don’t want to think about them, it’s tiring to think and I’m losing it.
I don’t want to escape so that I won’t be hurt.
There’re things which I can’t escape from, which hurt even more.
Home feels strangely unsettling.
While in the car, I remembered why I wanted to stay overseas. But like I’ve always been told, I should be thankful for what I’ve got. Sometimes looking at my life from others’ point of view my life ain’t that bad, or maybe ain’t bad at all.
But outsiders don’t know what goes on here. They might see what’s going on on the surface, but they’ll never really understand every situation. I guess there really can’t be a neutral ground to judge from. Everyone either sees things through tinted glasses, or from half-covered glasses.
I’m happy enough though. (: My room feels alien. It looks familiar, but it doesn’t feel familiar. It feels modern, it feels like the old me. But there’s no new me, I don’t know what the new me is in any case.
iTunes is possibly one of the nicest inventions (innovation?) ever. But then again most media players have similar functions. I love creating playlists, looping them for entire days, or weeks. I’ve been listening to the same playlist since I reached St Gallen and back. Maybe it’s time for a change.. but familiarity is really comforting. My “sleep” playlist is the ideal playlist to sit by a window on a rainy day, watching the rain and the people around. I love it.
Oh well, I still can’t believe I’m back. Can’t believe 1 month flew past like that.
There are many things I would have done differently if I could re-do the month (and related) again.
I wouldn’t have chosen the apartment. I would have gone for the briefings and made an effort to know the people. I would have spoken with people at the beginning. I wouldn’t have invited the lovely virus into my laptop. I would have treasured the times I had there. I would have interacted more with the landlady.
But things are always clearer in retrospect. I don’t regret, but I’m sad that I keep making the same mistakes, over and over.
I don’t seem to learn.
But it’s just a blasé attitude that I have right now. No, not anything else.
And I’m thankful for my wonderful friends. You know who you are. (:
I can’t believe I’m actually going to miss this place. I took 4 from Bahnhof for what was probably the third last time. It felt so surreal. 4 weeks just passed like that =\ (Time always flies in retrospect.)
I love the weather, I love the culture, the place is so gorgeous. I really wish I grew up here instead. :p Then my family would be here and I wouldn’t have to leave this beautiful place.
But I guess everything comes to an end regardless of our wishes. I’m just sad, but looking forward to going home nonetheless (: My new favourite food here is the bratwurst in some pastry thing. I’ve no idea what it’s called I just point to order. =p
Spent more today than I have in the last 4 weeks combined. Haha, and I’m going out soon to buy more stuff =p. Have to leave really early tomorrow so that I have enough time to struggle with my luggage. Lol.
Oh well. Should see how heavy my luggage is now. \= My shopping bags look daunting. T_T
I’m coming home soon babies 
I really really am.
I can’t take this anymore. Thank God I’m going back on Saturday. Any longer with the thing girl I will absolutely be mindfucked beyond repair.
Like I said, I should totally do “The Chronicles of The Thing”. Argh.
Nobody would ever believe the kind of things she does. And me bitching about it just reveals how intolerant I am but, it’s really unbelievably weird and scary and recently annoying.
And things around aren’t really helping. I feel so alone.
I want to talk to people.
DOM!!
JED!!
BB!!
T.T
On days like this I just want to give up.
Sometimes it really feels like I’m the only one trying, the one who’s not good enough in every sense, the dumb one.
I don’t know what to do.
Do I really want it??
